CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Thinking About Having Another Baby

Sunday, February 24, 2008

this entry brought to you by sons and daughters, "gilt complex", but i have no idea why it's spelled that way.


My wife's been wanting another baby for a while now, and I'm very reluctant. It's not that I don't ever want another child, but thinking about a baby makes me feel anxiety. I almost think I'd be happier if I could just jump the first two years and have a toddler, but even that I'm not entirely comfortable with. Again, it's not as if I want no more children, in fact, I would say that I would like exactly one more. I think what makes me hesitant, however, is finances. Believe it or not, babies aren't as horribly expensive as parents make them out to be, but with that said, I still wouldn't call them cheap. We had a child before on what I would describe as low income, and while we still made it by fine, that doesn't mean that there weren't some hurdles that we had to overcome, and that doesn't mean that it was always easy. I feel like just because we happened to get through it once doesn't mean we should necessarily take the chance again. I would like to be more financially stable before we have another kid, I would like knowing for sure that things will be fine for the foreseeable future, and things aren't like that. For the past few months in particular we've been having real financial problems, I don't know how necessarily we can pay all our bills in the immediate future, and it doesn't necessarily look any better in the foreseeable future. I don't want to just have a child just because I'd like one. Things aren't that easy.

On the other hand, it's so easy to over think having a baby. Look, I don't want to understate babies, and I don't want to sound like I'm being irresponsible with the following statement, but it's also a true statement: babies are the easiest thing in the world. No, I mean that. For one thing, it takes absolutely no effort to make them. Secondly, absolute fucking morons that have no money and are hideous parents have babies all of the time, and they have them in much greater numbers than people that do tend to have money, aren't morons, and are good parents. They're more likely to grow up to be bad people, but they're also likely to grow up to be functional, if unexceptional, members of society. My point is, economy never seems to be detriment to a healthy, functioning baby. If even the scum of the earth can manage to have babies that grow up to be adults, then obviously I've nothing real to worry about, nor, really, does anybody who doesn't want to have a child. But there's something, still, that fills me with anxiety about the idea.
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with love from CRS @ 9:01 AM 

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