CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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Gay Superpowers Are a Gift From God

Thursday, January 24, 2008

this entry brought to you by kid koala, "stompin' at le savoi"


Did you know that homosexuals are the reasons for Hurricane Katrina? It's true! Some preacher said so! And he talks directly to Jesus all the time, so that must be irrefutable fact! I mean, how can a man who speaks directly to Jesus possibly be wrong? If you had the ability to speak directly to Jesus and he advised you on a day-to-day basis, wouldn't you expect to be right all the time? You can't argue with that!

The weather changed directly because of homosexual sex. This must mean that gays have the innate capability to change the weather, simply through sheer force of will! All they need is to really really want to be gay, and then to act on that gayness. That's not a curse, that's a super power! News stations across the world should start hiring gays to do their weather reporting pronto, now that we have proof of this revelation! They'll be able to predict the weather with utter infallibility. They have God on their side.

"Hi, I'm Brian Schumacher, your Action News 10 Weatherman. I fucked a man in the ass earlier today, so expect mild rain with a slight chance of hellfire. I'll have more details at 10!"

Of course, if we choose to ignore the God-given abilities of which gays have been bestowed and we choose to continue to persecute them instead of hiring them immediately to cooshy, high paying meteorology jobs, just think of the consequences of homosexuals gone unchecked!

"Leaders of the world. I am Baron Von Disaster. As you can see, there is currently a man fellating me. You will deposit 25 billion dollars into my untraceable offshore account. If my demands are not met, this man will continue fellating me-- and I will in fact also fellate him-- until your cities are utterly drowned by storms the likes of which you have never seen. Good day."
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with love from CRS @ 7:51 AM 

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