CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Five Dollars Was a Lot of Money Back Then

Friday, January 11, 2008

this entry brought to you by datarock, "i used to dance with my daddy"



Holy shit, man! You're never gonna believe what just happened!


What happened, dude?


This motherfucker came out of nowhere and stuck a fuckin gun in my face and was like, "Give me all your muthafuckin money or I'ma blow your goddamn head off!"


Jee-sus, man! What the hell did you do?


I emptied my pockets, that's what the hell I did! I didn't want to get waxed right there on the streets!


How much money did he get?


Five bucks!


I'm sorry, I thought you just said you gave him five dollars.


I did! I said I had five dollars and he took it from me!


Oh my fucking god. Five dollars! That's-- what the hell are you going to do?


I don't know! That five bucks was for my mortgage! Now I'm going to have to borrow five bucks from my wife's family-- and they're not that wealthy! I'm sure they won't want their daughter and their twelve grandchildren out on the street, but they're not made of money. They'll only be able to give us five bucks for the mortgage, but we'll still go hungry!


Do you know anyone who you can maybe borrow a dollar fifty from, so you can buy food?


No! And even if I did, I wouldn't want to owe that kind of money to someone! A dollar fifty? How the hell am I supposed to pay that off, especially now that I'm already down five bucks? We're doomed!


Look on the bright side, bro. That five dollars is going to be more of a curse than a luxury for that asshole thief. Any clerk at any store he tries to go to spend five dollars at will be so suspicious of someone having five bucks and not be dressed like a prince that they'll undoubtedly call the police on his ass.


Yeah, that's true. Hey, do you have maybe thirty-five cents so my family can spend a week in a hotel and at least be able to eat fast food, just in case my wife's family doesn't have the five bucks?


Who the hell do you think you're talking to, Donald Fucking Trump? I'd love to help you but I'm not like you, I don't just walk around with five damn dollars in my pocket.
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with love from CRS @ 10:00 AM 

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