CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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The Starbucks Dealer

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

this entry brought to you by modest mouse, "florida"

look! it's a rare appearance of me with longer hair!


I've never done drugs before, no, not even pot. It's not something that's ever really interested me, although I do think that marijuana should be legalized. But one of the things that annoys me is when pot-heads defend their habit by saying that caffeine is a drug too. "Coffee's a drug, maaaaaan!" they whine. "But you can just go into a building and buy it! But it's even more addictive than weed!"

I don't buy this whole "coffee is a drug" bullshit at all. You want to know why? Because the following scenario has absolutely never happened with anybody:


*ring!*


Who is it?


Shit.


What? Who is it?


It's the Starbucks guy.


What? The guy from Starbucks is calling here? Why the fuck would you give him your number?


I was there the other day and he was like "Hey man, are we cool?" And I'm like, of course we're cool. And he's like, awesome, since I hook you up all the time, can you do me a favor?


What? You said you'd give your Starbucks Coffee Guy a favor?


What the fuck was I supposed to do? He spotted me my last double latte! I owed him!


Well let it go to voice mail!


I can't! He'll get mad at me! He knows I'm home!


Hello? ...Yeah, this is Chris. Uhm. What's up?


Mmmhmm. Can I uhh... Did you need anything?


Uhm. I'm actually kinda busy right now?


But see the thing is, I really gotta be some place...


Yeah, yeah, we're cool, of course we are. *sigh* Yeah, okay, where exactly is it that you want to go?




Main street is a really long street. Where on Main street?


Uh-huh. Just a couple blocks, then. Are you sure it's just a couple blocks?


If you don't know exactly where it is, then how do you know it's just a couple blocks?




Fine, fine. You're just going to be there for a couple minutes, right? Because I really need to be somewhere.


*sigh* Yeah, I'll do it. What time you want me to be there?


Yeah, okay. Bye.


*click*


I swear to God, I'm going to start getting my coffee from Coffee Joe's from now on.
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with love from CRS @ 10:37 AM 

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