CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Myspace Hacker Spam

Thursday, May 31, 2007

this entry brought to you by the rapture, "house of jealous lovers"

this entry is really myspace-user specific, so if you don't have a myspace account-- and i bet that you do-- then just go ahead and skip today's entry. there's a movie review tomorrow!


As everyone on Myspace (hopefully) knows, there are hackers. The reason we know these people exist is because occasionally we'll get bulletins from our friends or comments that are uncharacteristic. Why would that girl I met at work that reads women's magazines all day suddenly want me to win a PS3? And why would my favorite band suddenly recommend that I try a Viagra Knock-off? I mean, if they were going to support and put their name on a product, wouldn't it be a hipster TV show? Or at the very least, wouldn't it be the actual Viagra, instead of a C-List Viagra substitute?

Still, I think it is amusing that hackers would go through the trouble of writing a robot that hacks your account, goes in-- and does something as slightly inconvenient as posting easily-spottable bulletins that don't fool anybody. If I were to go through all the trouble of writing a program that breaks the law and fucks with people, I would be much more sinister.

I would write a program that hacked into your account, and then wrote a letter to everyone in your top eight spaces. And the letter would say something like, "Listen, I'm sick of your bullshit. Fuck off. Seriously, I'm not fucking friends anymore, and I'm taking you off of my Myspace. I hope you fucking die."

I think most people would write back saying something like "What's going on? Why did you say that? What did I do?" and would be very hurt. And I suspect most people would reply and say "What the hell is going on? What are you talking about? I never wrote you any such letter!" And there would be mass confusion. But the coolest part is that a lot of people on Myspace love drama-- they crave it. They eat it up! And if they got a letter from someone saying that they were being deleted, they wouldn't stop to ask questions and figure out what happened-- it would be immediate shit hitting of fan. Utter chaos. And when it eventually came out that it wasn't even the person that wrote the letter, but a bot, so much damage would've strained the relationship that these two hypothetical people wouldn't even be able to be friends again, what with all the shit that would have been talked.

But the coolest part would come after Tom finally posted a bulletin that said "Hey everybody, we got a hacker that's sending emails to your friends telling them you hate them and are deleting them. If you get an email like this, IT IS FAKE."

...Because then when people actually did want to no longer be friends with someone and they wrote a letter saying seriously, we can't be friends anymore, the only thing that would happen is they'd get an email saying "Dude, you got a hacker-- better change your password."

The next step after that, of course, would be to make a bot that sent a "Fuck you" email to everyone in your top eight spaces, then deleted everyone in your top eight spaces, then set your profile to private. That would be awesome.
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with love from CRS @ 11:13 AM 

1 Comments:

*falls out of chair laughing*

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