CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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POLARITY 241

Monday, May 07, 2007

this entry brought to you by red hot chili peppers, "hey"


THE GOOD

Thelma & Louise My wife Michelle bought a copy of Ridley Scott's celebrated movie Thelma and Louise, warning that it was a chick flick. After seeing it, I have to disagree. Yes, it is a movie about two chicks empowering themselves, and in the sense that it's a movie made with a female perspective, sure, it's a "chick flick", but only in the loosest rules of the term. "Chick flicks", generally speaking, have interchangeable plots and vapid characters; Thelma & Louise has anything but, and while the majority of the male characters are absurdly one-dimensional, the heroines here are thoughtful, daring, and while they fit comfortably into the rules of their character types: Geena Davis' Thelma is an all-American girl, sweet, not-too-bright; Susan Sarandon's Louise is older, wiser, no-nonsense, this doesn't detract at all. What separates this from "chick flick" standards is that how they mature and fill out over the course of the movie, and in more ways than just "This adventure has taught me a lot of things about myself" kind of way most road movies do, but in ways you don't necessarily expect. The movie is well over a decade and a half old, so by now the movie has been parodied and countlessly homaged, and almost every female revenge movie made sense then has been a direct rip-off, so there are elements of predictability that undoubtedly weren't there when the movie first aired, and the ending is not only no longer a surprise, but positively anti-climactic. Still, there's a lot to like about this movie despite knowing where it's going to go even during the first viewing, mostly because of the keen eye of Ridley Scott, some impeccable pacing, and well-deserved praised performances by the lead actresses.

Stranger Than Fiction The trailers made Stranger Than Fiction out to be in the same ilk as quirky comedies like those written by Charlie Kaufman, such as Being John Malkovich. Will Ferrell, usually known for his comedic genius, plays Harold Crick, a boring, unassuming numbers cruncher at the IRS, who finds his life being narrated by an omnipotent voice, and quickly learns that he's the main character in a book-- worse, at the end of this book, he will die. What's most surprising about this wonderfully quirky set-up is that Stranger Than Fiction isn't all that funny. It is amusing in its first act, as Crick tries to find out if he is completely insane or not, and in isolated moments throughout the movie. But Stranger quickly proves itself a moving experience, as Crick desperately seeks help for his predicament and, in order to avoid the story of his life being a tragedy, awkwardly searches for the affection of a spunky, tattooed baker, Ana Pascal (a head-over-heels adorable Maggie Gyllenhaal). This is a bit of a surprise for those expecting something more akin to Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, which was equal parts funny and dramatic, but Stranger Than Fiction quickly turns into a relatively straight-forward story about finding happiness. So the script and director don't really do anything but go straight down the middle (slightly disappointing in the latter because it was directed by Marc Forster, who did such a fine, subtle job with Finding Neverland), so what carries the movie is the performance. Will Ferrell turns his man-boy shtick from his comedies into a fully grown adult with a lost, unfulfilled look in his eyes, as if he skipped childhood and went straight to being a number cruncher, and his containment of the chemistry he wants to feel with Pascal is a joy. Ferrel might've dove straight into a more familiar comedy for him with Blades of Glory after Stranger, but let's hope he decides to sit down and get more dramas on his resume: Ferrel is talented. Emma Thomson as the neurotic mess of a writer, Karen Eiffel, is given a two-dimensional character, yet manages to bring her to life. Stranger Than Fiction, in a way, fails to live up to its own potential, yet in the end manages to be quite satisfying.

Pulp Fiction, The Fucking Short Version Some genius edited out everything in Pulp Fiction, leaving only the word "fuck" and variations of it. I think I watched it twice in a row, then showed it to my family immediately afterwards. Hysterical.

Stephen Colbert on the cover of this month's GQ As soon as I saw this I instantly picked it off the shelf. For one thing, I love Stephen Colbert-- who doesn't?-- and for another, this was the creepiest/most hilarious cover photo of a celebrity I'd seen in a while. The accompanying piece in the magazine is a bit of a disappointment; it's funny, but so short it won't even take up the time spent on an average visit to the crapper. Still, it caught my eye enough that I had to give it a plug.

Davey Havok I'm not a fan of AFI at all, and I'm not saying this in the "I like their old stuff better", because if I were to compare the two, I'd much prefer the newer stuff, but even that is too much like, well, you know-- suck. But I recently read an interview with Havok in Spin magazine, and it turns out Davey Havok is straight edge, which I really admire any time I learn any musician is against drugs.


THE BAD

Fox News Vs. Bill Clinton The truth is, I love this video, because Bill Clinton doesn't hold back, and in the most professional way possible, basically goes off on a visibly bitch-slapped Fox News correspondent. The reason why this video is on "The Bad", however, is that it demonstrates just how fucking low the mongrels are at Fox News-- they're not even journalists in the loosest description. Bill Clinton has been busying himself with immense humanitarian efforts over the past 6 years-- frankly, there's no way this man is going to die without a Nobel prize-- and it's obvious that the pretext of this interview was that it was going to cover these efforts, so it is equally obvious why he agreed to do it. And then, with a sniveling smirk on his face, Chris Wallace asks Bill Clinton why he didn't do more to get Osama Bin Laden, and he says it in such a cocksure fashion it's as if Wallace thinks Clinton is pinned to the wall, as if he got him. And then he seems caught off guard when Clinton fires back! What the hell did you expect, Wallace? Bill Clinton is notorious for his hot temper, he is notoriously anti-Neocon; did you somehow think you could ask him something so preposterously insulting and he'd just shrink in his chair and cry? Did you honestly think that by informing Clinton that you'd gotten "a lot of emails about this", that this somehow made it excusable to attempt to falsely embarrass one of the most respected men in America? Especially when the accusation is easily and thoroughly proven as hackneyed bullshit with a simple Google search? Well, good going, dude, you managed to make yourself and your shitty station look like jackasses, and as Keith Olbermann immediately responded with usual deft and vigor, how in the hell can you possibly pretend to be a journalist after this incident?

Stuff Magazine's picking Jessica Biel over Scarlett for hottest I haven't bought an issue of Stuff in quite a while. There was an Editor in Chief named Greg Gutfeld, and when he was in charge, the magazine was absolutely hilarious. After he left the magazine became unbearable and not funny whatsoever. Nevertheless, I make a habit of picking up an issue of FHM, Maxim, or Stuff whenever they run their "most beautiful" lists, mostly so I can have something to get my blood angry, and secondarily, to have something to write about on this very page. Stuff's list has always been closest to my actual heart, but they still have a lot of misses. Jessica Biel, who they named #1 this year, is in fact an extremely attractive woman. Extremely attractive. But over Scarlett Johannson, who came in as number 2? Hell to the N-O.

Missing all the awesome video games coming out lately The PS3 is 600 bucks, which is way too much money to drop on a video game system, so I don't plan on buying one for quite some time. But that's okay; there's nothing I must play on the system right now, so for now I don't really care about it. The XBox 360 looks very appealing, and I want to buy one, but I suspect there's going to be a price drop soon, so I don't yet feel like dropping 500 bucks for one-- also a rather steep price-- only for the system to drop sooner rather than later. The Wii, of course, is very appealing, what with its Zelda and it's 250 dollar price-- but they are impossible to find, and will probably be impossible to find for the immediate future. Most people are still getting amazing mileage out of the PS2, with Guitar Hero especially, Final Fantasy 12, God of War, and a whole bunch of others-- except that my PS2 doesn't work, and I don't feel like plopping out more money for a new system at this point when all the next gen stuff has already been out for a little while. This, frankly, sucks.

Gatorade AM It's not that I dislike the flavors-- Orange Strawberry and Tropical Mango-- but I detest the idea of getting up in the morning and chugging a Gatorade. It just seems unnatural, kinda like that Pepsi AM idea they had years ago, even if Gatorade AM is way healthier than that was.

Spider-Man 3 the worst reviewed of the trilogy The original Spider-Man? 90% at Rottentomatoes. Spider-Man 2? 93%. Spider-Man 3? 61%. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I had a major hunch that it wouldn't perform as well critically. You could just tell by the trailers. There's too much stuff going on.
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with love from CRS @ 7:35 AM 

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