CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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*69: The Phone Company's Most Worthless Option

Saturday, April 21, 2007

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "me, i'm not"


Remember when *69 first came out? Man, that seemed really exciting. That seemed like the pinnacle of phone technology. I could call back people when I missed calls. Excellent!

Except the goddamn thing never worked. Mostly you'd just get a message saying "Your service is working properly, but the number you are trying to dial cannot be reached at this time." I always wondered if they went ahead and charged you the 75 cents anyway, just to be dicks. Because otherwise it's not like they could possibly be getting any money from this service that never worked.

When it did occasionally work, it only lead to seriously awkward conversations.

*ring*

"Hello?"

"Yeah, uhm, who is this?"

"Who is this?"

"Well, I just dialed *69. Did you just call 480-654-3321?"

"No."

"Uhm. Is there anyone in the house that could have possibly dialed this number?"

"No."

"Uhm. Could you check?"

[brief pause as the phone is put aside] "Nobody called."

"But see, I just dialed *69, so somebody had to have called."

"Nope."

And then there's another awkward pause and the guy just hangs up on you. Gee, thanks asshole. I don't know what's so wrong with just admitting you dialed the wrong number, but apparently I just spent 75 cents on absolutely jack shit.

Caller ID didn't really rectify much when it was introduced. It seemed like it would when you first got it, then you realize that all Caller ID does is inform you when the same few people who always call you call, even though they'll undoubtedly call back sooner or later. And then when you don't recognize the number and press redial you always get a message saying "THIS NUMBER DOES NOT ACCEPT INCOMING CALLS." So really, you were better off not having anything except call waiting. Call waiting, of course, is helpful for being interrupted while on important calls only to find out it's a telemarketer.
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on this day last year no matter where you move, there's always going to be assholes. leagues of them.
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with love from CRS @ 10:35 AM 

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