CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

ARCHIVES!
My Band is Totally Ready for Coachella

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

this entry brought to you by portishead, "sour times (nobody loves me)"





Dear Goldenvoice, organizers of the Coachella Music and Arts Festival,

My band, 6 Pack of Double Ds (previously known as Systematic Apocalypse Meltdown) is definitely ready to play Coachella in 2007. I realize this is the fourth time in four years we have written you and sent in a demo of our band's music for admission to play, but honestly, I totally see why you didn't get back in contact with us the first three times. Firstly, there is a good chance that you felt that our aggro-metal/hardcore punk/AC DC covers act did not fit very well into your arty atmosphere. And also, we just weren't very good.

However, I'm here to tell you, Coachella organizers, that we are completely ready to blow the fuckin' roof off of your festival, as we've made several changes to our band. The three founding members are still myself, singer Jeff Stoleminski, guitarist Jeff Holton, and drummer Kyle Watkins. We kicked out our old DJ, DJ S.K.U.M., because honestly, I couldn't hear him when we played live, and all he did was drink and throw up on stage. Now we have a rhythm guitarist, Clifton Shuebanks, who joined after his old band, Murky Water Ponds, turned into a screamo band. But the most significant change is our new bass player. We wish our old bass player, Matthew Jergenson all the best, as he decided to go into college, majoring in floral biology. But instead of letting his departure shatter the band, we decided to take an ad out in the paper for a new one. After a grueling 45 minutes of auditions, we found our perfect match: an ex Sarah McLaughlin roadie and incredibly dynamic bassist who calls himself Thrillicious BassFace, and he has completely reinvigorated our band's sound. Our guitarist Jeff Holton knew BassFace's skills could take us to a new level, so to achieve a higher level of quality for himself, he's totally been wailing along to his Led Zepp records as practice. I myself have been trying to hit the "she's running away" part of "Creep" by Radiohead to get myself the best singer I can be. Admittedly, our drummer still kinda sucks, but we think the rest of us rock so much we completely overcome our lame drumming.

Our sound has also gotten a lot artier, and my lyrics have gotten really weird because I stopped drinking alcohol to focus entirely on doing hallucinogenic drugs. To match our new arty sound, we changed our name to 6 Pack of Double Ds, and we think that now, finally, we are ready to fuckin' kick ass at Coachella next year. And before you pass us off and think we're not indie enough or whatever, please note that we recently got signed to Fat Ass Joint Records, which is run by Billy... I don't actually know what Billy's last name is, but he wants to quit selling drugs (except maybe weed) from now on so he can concentrate on his label, which proves how fucking serious we all are about being professional rock stars.

We are totally stoked to play Coachella 2007, and would be willing to play on any of the stages; we wouldn't even mind not playing the main stage. So long as we don't get an opening slot. Nobody watches the bands that play the opening slots, and I mean, we're trying to get our name out there, so what good would an opening slot do us? I think like, a 3 o'click, maybe 3:15 slot would work perfectly for us. Also, try not to put us in a tent, they get really hot.

Signed, Jeff Soleminki, lead singer, 6 Pack of Double Ds.

PS. It would be fucking awesome if Pink Floyd reunite at Coachella next year. Just something to think about.
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on this day last yearDONNIE DARKO! HANDSOME BOY MODELING SCHOOL! EYE BLEEDING CHRISTMAS LIGHTS! BEER! on last year's POLARITY!

on this day last year did you ever notice that when people's answering machine says "we're either not home or unavailable", there are no other reasons why they wouldn't answer the phone, so they really didn't didn't need to leave that rhetorical message? -----

with love from CRS @ 5:29 PM 

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