CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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My Apologies to Women Who Love Weddings, But...

Thursday, May 11, 2006

this entry brought to you by tool, "vicarious" (again)


This is an AIM conversation I had with my friend Tim. Tim is Lil Nadj, and I am Art of Fragility.


Art of Fragility: Well, weddings are best like that because people look *awful* at weddings.
Art of Fragility: Completely horrendous. And different cameras get different angles of the ugly.
Lil Nadj: haha
Lil Nadj: I think some people look good.
Art of Fragility: Men.
Art of Fragility: Men look better at weddings. Women look awful. And I mean, I love women, but they spend so much money and so much effort and stress to look absolutely terrible.
Lil Nadj: I think I always complained about this to you.
Lil Nadj: Maybe not.
Lil Nadj: BUT...
Lil Nadj: I think nothing is prettier and more attractive on a girl than when they have their hair nice and brushed and flowing freely down their shoulders/back.
Lil Nadj: I -HATE- it when girls spend tons of money to get their hair 'done' and it's all up in a weird way.
Lil Nadj: Especially when it looks SO much better down.
Art of Fragility: Exactly!
Art of Fragility: You'll wake up next to a girl that looks better than they do at weddings.
Art of Fragility: Right.
Lil Nadj: Other than that, though.. I don't think women look that ugly.
Art of Fragility: I mean, the thing is, I love women of all shapes and sizes. I can name one girl that I think is hot at work that is positively anorexic, and another girl that must weigh close to 200, not to mention my lovely wife who definitely has a little extra baggage (and, for the record, looked great at our wedding, but she's the exception).
Art of Fragility: I think weight is such a... such a... temporal thing. My attitude is, if you have hot, you have it. Some skinny chicks don't have it. Some fat chicks do .
Art of Fragility: BUT.
Art of Fragility: Round, chubby faces....
Art of Fragility: LOOK BETTER WITH HAIR DOWN.
Lil Nadj: haha!
Art of Fragility: So you look at these wedding pictures and wedding dresses are specifically designed to make women look fat.
Art of Fragility: Period.
Lil Nadj: I don't know man, I've seen some girls with absolutely gorgeous bodies at weddings.
Art of Fragility: Yeah, so? They always look fat, even if they do have gorgeous bodies! Doesn't matter how much they weigh, they look fat in those dresses. And I'm not even talking about a size too small! I'm talking about perfectly fit for them. You know, they're sleeveless so you've got the arm chub, you've got these tapered gowns so the tummy sticks out, and of course the hair is up so round faces just look fat.
Lil Nadj: You must only go to fat people weddings.
Lil Nadj: hehe j/k
Art of Fragility: You know what I mean though :) Even when you look at pictures of celebrity weddings the most beautiful women in the entire world look fat and ugly.
Lil Nadj: Ok, I understand.
Art of Fragility: So you go to these weddings and women just look like hell.
Art of Fragility: And you get your pictures back and everyone's sweaty and they've got the red eye...
Art of Fragility: And you're just like, fuck, weddings suck.
Art of Fragility: But look at Uncle Joe! He looks pimp!
Art of Fragility: Because there's minimal effort. You go out, you rent the tux, you get it on, and you do your hair the same way you do when you go to work, and then you make sure you're shaved. THAT'S IT.
Art of Fragility: So automatically you walk out there and you look killer. And also note how the rented tux never shows off your fat gut. You can look slim in a tux.
Lil Nadj: haha!
Lil Nadj: Not me..
Lil Nadj: I look absolutely horrible in suits.
Lil Nadj: No matter how much I try to dress up my suit with a nice tie and shirt, it doesn't matter. Ugly.
Lil Nadj: And/or fat.
Art of Fragility: Seriously?
Lil Nadj: Yeah, I don't look good in suits.
Lil Nadj: I look even worse in tux.
Art of Fragility: I find that most men can look killer with absolutely no effort.
Lil Nadj: Taller people always look good in suits.
Art of Fragility:
Art of Fragility: I mean, this isn't saying that...
Art of Fragility:
Lil Nadj: I understand what you mean, though.
Lil Nadj: Yes, all I ever have to do is take a shower, shave, and put on my suit which takes less than 5 mins.
Art of Fragility: I find myself defending my "men look good at weddings" remark, as if you'll think I'm gay. But I always make fun of guys who would compliment a guy and then instantly go into "NOT THAT I'M GAY OR ANYTHING OH SHIT NOW YOU GUYS THINK I'M GAY NO DUDE I NEVER CHECK OUT GUYS"
Art of Fragility: I mean, when women underdress and are just casual, you know, just jeans and a t-shirt, they always look so much better than guys who underdress. Underdressed guys look like cartoon characters. Women always look fantastic when they put very little effort into how good they look.
Art of Fragility: What I meant wasn't so much defensiveness, just a case of, I'm not trying to say, fashion wise, guys have it better than girls. Women look fantastic all the time. Men look idiotic all the time. Yeah buddy, cargo shorts, striped t-shirt, baseball cap, you look fantastic. But women, what do they do? They put an arm into their closet and boom, they look hot as fuck. It's just that when they try to look their best, THEY LOOK LIKE HELL.
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with love from CRS @ 8:47 PM 

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