Smokers and Their Smoke Breaks Piss Me Off
this entry brought to you by the new folk implosion, "pearl"
Do you know what bugs me about smokers? Have you ever gotten tired of, say, a coworker complaining about breaks being too far apart and needing a cigarette? Did you ever say something sarcastic like, "Oh yeah, I'm sure you need it..." or did you ever just, like, shrug your shoulders in an uncaring fashion?
Their eyes bug as in a fit of fury, their mouths frothing. "No! You don't understand!" they stammer, as if you give a shit. "You don't understand. When I need a cigarette, I need a cigarette!" they spit, convulsing, that vein in their head popping out ever-so-slightly in their forehead.
I love how smokers act like their sickening and bizarre habit is an illness, like herpes or something. "I gotta go have a cigarette. I broke out the other night. Oh, didn't you know? I was diagnosed with the smokes a year ago. Yeah, I've learned to live with it." I mean, am I supposed to feel sorry for them? Is that what this is about? Do they expect me to say, "Oh shit, you smoke? I didn't know! I just assumed you were a foul-smelling jackass with ugly teeth! Wll that explains everything! You poor thing! You should take seven breaks a day, so you can smoke more often! Certainly, more breaks than me, anyway. In fact, it's difficult for me to go on having breaks at all and just wasting them by doing nothing but standing around, not smoking, when there are courageous people like you, willing to break the barriers, willing to ignore the prejudice and say, proudly, I'm a smoker, and you've got to live with that! It's not you that has the problem, brave smoker. It's all of the rest of us. God bless you." Is that what the expect? Because if it's not what they're expecting, then they need to learn that their habit is nonsensical to the point of idiocy and that nobody, but nobody gives a shit about their precious smoke breaks except other people with the same bewilderingly stupid habit.
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with love from CRS @ 6:33 PM
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Do you know what bugs me about smokers? Have you ever gotten tired of, say, a coworker complaining about breaks being too far apart and needing a cigarette? Did you ever say something sarcastic like, "Oh yeah, I'm sure you need it..." or did you ever just, like, shrug your shoulders in an uncaring fashion?
Their eyes bug as in a fit of fury, their mouths frothing. "No! You don't understand!" they stammer, as if you give a shit. "You don't understand. When I need a cigarette, I need a cigarette!" they spit, convulsing, that vein in their head popping out ever-so-slightly in their forehead.
I love how smokers act like their sickening and bizarre habit is an illness, like herpes or something. "I gotta go have a cigarette. I broke out the other night. Oh, didn't you know? I was diagnosed with the smokes a year ago. Yeah, I've learned to live with it." I mean, am I supposed to feel sorry for them? Is that what this is about? Do they expect me to say, "Oh shit, you smoke? I didn't know! I just assumed you were a foul-smelling jackass with ugly teeth! Wll that explains everything! You poor thing! You should take seven breaks a day, so you can smoke more often! Certainly, more breaks than me, anyway. In fact, it's difficult for me to go on having breaks at all and just wasting them by doing nothing but standing around, not smoking, when there are courageous people like you, willing to break the barriers, willing to ignore the prejudice and say, proudly, I'm a smoker, and you've got to live with that! It's not you that has the problem, brave smoker. It's all of the rest of us. God bless you." Is that what the expect? Because if it's not what they're expecting, then they need to learn that their habit is nonsensical to the point of idiocy and that nobody, but nobody gives a shit about their precious smoke breaks except other people with the same bewilderingly stupid habit.
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