CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

THE GOOD

Dodgeball First thing's first: I didn't actually think this movie was as funny as I originally wanted it to be. For the first 30 minutes the only thing funny was Ben Stiller (dig how Stiller is always in almost every single shot, staged next to men who seem to be three feet taller than him), but once the good guys get the idea of getting into dodgeball, the consistent yucks start. You know what kind of comedy it is, and even taken as that kind of comedy, it's not as funny as, say, the hilarious Anchorman, but once it gets going, the laughs are worth it, especially when the movie gets unexpectedly highbrow-- who expected a Jabberwocky reference in this?

Everybody Hates Chris There's been some criticism towards this show for being too family-friendly and lacking the edge of Chris Rock's stand-up comedy and stint on SNL had. To which I say: nigga please. While family-friendly in tone, this is one of the sharpest, wittiest shows on the air right now, right up there with My Name is Earl. I mean, honestly, when the writing is this hilarious and consistent and the acting this dead-on , why complain that it's not that edgy? I also wanted to point out that, in my eyes, this is the most accurate portrayl of lower-class black people in all of sitcom-dom, and I find that totally refreshing.

The Eggcorn Database An "eggcorn" is, apparently, when a term becomes said so many times that its original spelling starts to get changed, to the point where it is accepted. Example, "suped up" is incorrect. "Supe" isn't a word. Souped up, however, is actually how it's spelled. This site is pointless and boring for people who don't care, but for lovers of the English language like myself, give a clicksy. I guarantee there's at least one here that you yourself misuse.

This 4 Dimensional Statute The statue itself isn't 4D, but it casts a 3D shadow, and somehow this is a portal into the fourth dimension. None of this makes any sense, but is totally cool. I mean... Something casts a shadow in 3D? Fucking whoa, man.

A Christmas Gory It's not as good as that Shining trailer I showed a couple months ago, but as far as fake trailers go, this is still a keeper.


THE BAD

Bright Eyes, I'm Wide Awake It's Morning, Digital Ash in a Digital Urn I tried to like Conor Oberst, I really did. Every song I heard of his before listening to his simoultaneously released two albums distinctively annoyed me. Every song I heard was like Conor singing in the same going-through-puberty warbled voice, lyrics that he took directly from his diary, and random strumming of his guitar. Nevertheless, I still tried to listen to Digital Ash (which I got through) and It's Morning (which I did not), and guess what? I got the exact same feeling I always got, only with pointless electronic doodling on the former and Emmylou Harris guesting for a song on the latter. Apparently, this appeals to the kids, but when I listen, it just makes me feel fucking bored. Also: that anti-Bush song that he played on Leno? I appreciate the sentiment, but it was god-awful.

The size of Nintendo DS games This is not a joke. My roommate and I were looking for a game I'd misplaced. After 15 minutes of searching, I found it under my left buttcheek in my underwear. That's right. I lost it in my butt. How it got there, I don't know. But the fact is I didn't notice it for the 30 minutes after I'd removed it to play Mario Kart, and for the 15 minutes for looking. That's how damned small they are. This is ridiculous.

Not being paid extra for working New Year's Remember the horseshit that MCI pulled over Christmas, paying us no extra money? Well, we got screwed on New Year's, too! Gar!

That vanilla flavored toothpaste I felt like I was brushing my teeth with pudding or with cake frosting, which is the most unconductive feeling when you are attempting to clean your teeth. Who the fuck's idea was this?

Coconut Milk It's not like on TV; it's not like milk out of a carton. It's thick, with the consistency of mayonnaise, and it smells kind of like mild clam chowder. I don't know how this turns into delicious pina colada, but it's almost frightening that someone would try mixing drinks with this hideous, grey-ish paste.
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with love from CRS @ 10:45 PM 

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