God and Children Don't Mix
Since I started to grow older and wiser in my teens and was really able to grasp what I was told about god, I've started to watch what parents do to their children regarding religion, what they say, and I realize that I wasn't alone. I really resent religious parents and their treatment of god around kids. I really do.
What I hate perhaps the most, is how children will ask reasonable questions about their religion, but are given unreasonable explanations. Further questioning is dismissed by the parent. Children are smart. This is why they question god. But they're impressionable and assume their parents know more than they do, and assume that their line of thinking is wrong when dismissed often enough, when in reality I think a child knows no more about god than any adult.
Let me give you an example...
A child is troubled about something, possibly something that directly relates to them. Maybe other kids pick on the child. Maybe the child's parents have been arguing a lot lately. Maybe the child heard about global warming at school and it worries them. So they come to an adult for answers. And instead of being honest, up front, and answering the question as thoroughly as possible and giving the child self-affirmation to help them through their emotional tough spot, a religious parent will answer that the child's best friend is Jesus, and that Jesus will always be there, that the child can always count on Jesus.
Now, I'm not saying the religious parent will not at all answer things heard on an give the child a tangible way to work through their problems, but this over-emphasis of Jesus or God troubles me. Because unlike the kind of friend the child actually needs or expects... Jesus doesn't answer. And he never will.
And what is frustrating is the child will even say "Why doesn't Jesus answer me?" or even go so far as to blame themselves saying "Jesus doesn't like me. You said he answers everyone's prayers. But he doesn't answer mine."
And here comes the part that infuriates me. Jesus is not concrete. He is intangible. And a child needs something to rely on, but is instead offered the comfort of something that can never comfort them-- not the way the child wants, or, for that matter, needs to be comforted. Again, I'm not saying relgious parents don't also offer their own comfort, but this continual assurance that something that will not answer a child's prayers the way a child needs to be answered just confuses them.
The parents offer vague, hopeful responses as to why Jesus doesn't answer. Says he doesn't have time to answer but hears everyone. Says he works in mysterious ways. Says that you might not even notice if the prayer has been answered. All these sorts of non-answering, skirt-the-issue Santa Clause answers that didn't really do anything but tell the child "No. You're wrong. We are right. Try again. And again. Until you get it in your head not to question us."
What bothers me is that god does not answer anyone's prayers. Not in any tangible, significant ways-- the way someone who wants answers needs, especially someone who's at an age where "answering a question" means a definitive response. And asking why he doesn't answer is a perfectly reasonable question. Yet the unreasonable explanations parents give would be seen as such as an adult who knows better. But a child will be begin to accept these kinds of replies, because afterall, they're just kids, and adults are always right.
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with love from CRS @ 4:49 PM
Thursday, November 17, 2005
What I hate perhaps the most, is how children will ask reasonable questions about their religion, but are given unreasonable explanations. Further questioning is dismissed by the parent. Children are smart. This is why they question god. But they're impressionable and assume their parents know more than they do, and assume that their line of thinking is wrong when dismissed often enough, when in reality I think a child knows no more about god than any adult.
Let me give you an example...
A child is troubled about something, possibly something that directly relates to them. Maybe other kids pick on the child. Maybe the child's parents have been arguing a lot lately. Maybe the child heard about global warming at school and it worries them. So they come to an adult for answers. And instead of being honest, up front, and answering the question as thoroughly as possible and giving the child self-affirmation to help them through their emotional tough spot, a religious parent will answer that the child's best friend is Jesus, and that Jesus will always be there, that the child can always count on Jesus.
Now, I'm not saying the religious parent will not at all answer things heard on an give the child a tangible way to work through their problems, but this over-emphasis of Jesus or God troubles me. Because unlike the kind of friend the child actually needs or expects... Jesus doesn't answer. And he never will.
And what is frustrating is the child will even say "Why doesn't Jesus answer me?" or even go so far as to blame themselves saying "Jesus doesn't like me. You said he answers everyone's prayers. But he doesn't answer mine."
And here comes the part that infuriates me. Jesus is not concrete. He is intangible. And a child needs something to rely on, but is instead offered the comfort of something that can never comfort them-- not the way the child wants, or, for that matter, needs to be comforted. Again, I'm not saying relgious parents don't also offer their own comfort, but this continual assurance that something that will not answer a child's prayers the way a child needs to be answered just confuses them.
The parents offer vague, hopeful responses as to why Jesus doesn't answer. Says he doesn't have time to answer but hears everyone. Says he works in mysterious ways. Says that you might not even notice if the prayer has been answered. All these sorts of non-answering, skirt-the-issue Santa Clause answers that didn't really do anything but tell the child "No. You're wrong. We are right. Try again. And again. Until you get it in your head not to question us."
What bothers me is that god does not answer anyone's prayers. Not in any tangible, significant ways-- the way someone who wants answers needs, especially someone who's at an age where "answering a question" means a definitive response. And asking why he doesn't answer is a perfectly reasonable question. Yet the unreasonable explanations parents give would be seen as such as an adult who knows better. But a child will be begin to accept these kinds of replies, because afterall, they're just kids, and adults are always right.
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