CCAMP: The Worst Thing A Human Can do to Another on the Phone
this entry brought to you by bush, "swallowed"
Hello?
Hey, what's up?
Oh! Hey! How the hell are you?
I'm doing fine. Just chilling.
That's cool. So hey, listen. What are you up to tonight?
Nothing at all. Why? Do you want to do something? *fart*
Sure, I was thinking-- wait, what the hell was that sound?
Oh, I'm just taking a shit.
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STOP! Thanks to the proliferation of cell phones, especially in the hands of younger and younger users, the above scenario happens with alarming frequency. There's only one way to handle this.
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You're what? Listen, next time I see you? I'm going to stab you in your face.
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This tactic might seem harsh, but remember, while this person sees no problem with attempting to communicate with another human being while emptying his bowels, the rest of us are trying to run a civilized society. Not even small animals, other than goldfish, will poop while around anyone else. Making violent threats and acting on them is the only sure way we can save future generations of such indignity as unwittingly hearing someone take a shit while trying to have an every day, mild-mannered, non-shit-related conversation. If we don't end this now, the next step will be complete Book-of-Revelatios style chaos. Besides, humiliating them by stabbing their face will not only reach them a valuable lesson, but will also make you feel better about yourself. And if they didn't want to get stabbed in the face, the wouldn't have pulled out their cell phone while on the latrine, now would they have?
*This has been a messge from Concerned Citizens Against Morons with Phones.
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with love from CRS @ 5:45 PM
Friday, October 14, 2005
Hello?
Hey, what's up?
Oh! Hey! How the hell are you?
I'm doing fine. Just chilling.
That's cool. So hey, listen. What are you up to tonight?
Nothing at all. Why? Do you want to do something? *fart*
Sure, I was thinking-- wait, what the hell was that sound?
Oh, I'm just taking a shit.
-----
STOP! Thanks to the proliferation of cell phones, especially in the hands of younger and younger users, the above scenario happens with alarming frequency. There's only one way to handle this.
------
You're what? Listen, next time I see you? I'm going to stab you in your face.
-----
This tactic might seem harsh, but remember, while this person sees no problem with attempting to communicate with another human being while emptying his bowels, the rest of us are trying to run a civilized society. Not even small animals, other than goldfish, will poop while around anyone else. Making violent threats and acting on them is the only sure way we can save future generations of such indignity as unwittingly hearing someone take a shit while trying to have an every day, mild-mannered, non-shit-related conversation. If we don't end this now, the next step will be complete Book-of-Revelatios style chaos. Besides, humiliating them by stabbing their face will not only reach them a valuable lesson, but will also make you feel better about yourself. And if they didn't want to get stabbed in the face, the wouldn't have pulled out their cell phone while on the latrine, now would they have?
*This has been a messge from Concerned Citizens Against Morons with Phones.
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