CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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Welcome to BM Emporium!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

this entry brought to you by green day, "american idiot"



Hi! How are you? Thanks for shopping at BM Emporium! Is this your first time?


Yeah, I was just kinda browsing through the mall and thought I'd see what this store is.


Great! I'll go ahead and explain it to you! Okay. We give you a month's worth of ready-made fruit drinks-- they come in strawberry kiwi, orange, cranberry, and banana, and they taste terrific! You drink one a week. And they make your BM smell like any scent you want! For the low price of 20 dollars you can get one of the ready-made scents, such as blueberry muffins, chocolate candy bar, and bacon, which are our three-best selling scents, although we have forty total pre-made ones. Or, for an additional five dollars, we can manufacture any other scent you like in the entire world!


Wow. You're saying you can make my poop smell like anything I want?


Exactly! Are you interested?


You bet your sweet ass I'm interested. What would you recommend?


Me personally? I don't go for the food-smelling scents.


I see what you're saying. You don't want any small animals, children, or drunks to be encouraged to go and eat it. I mean, what if you go camping? Yeah, I would want to go for something unoffensive, yet not necessarily compelling.


Exactly. And you don't want something that will encourage someone to smear it on themselves, like a cologne scent or perfume. I have friends that do the opposite, even. I have one friend who has the smell of burning styrofoam. Myself, I have new car scent.


I think I'm going to go for Lemon-Fresh Pine-Sol.


Very good choice! I'll ring you up right now! Would you like the basic one-month supply, or do you want more?


I think I'll just take a month's supply for now. Ma'am? Bless you and this company for this service you provide. Bless you. And listen... do you have anything that will change the... taste... of any other... naturally occurring bodily fluids?


No, sorry. You want Man Juice Unlimited. That's next door.
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with love from CRS @ 10:29 AM 

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