CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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POLARITY 152

Monday, July 04, 2005

this entry brought to you by beck, "black tambourine"


THE GOOD

The Fantastic Four Okay, as a comic book geek, I've got to sound off on this, since it's caused a bit of a controversy amongst the geek community. Yes, Jessica Alba looks weird as Invisible Woman. And I'm a little disappointed that, out of this summer's blockbusters, it seems to have the lowest budget. In fact, I think timing it the first week of July was a huge mistake. Having said that, Thing, Torch, and Doom look perfect, so I'm caustiously willing to disregard its downfalls and enjoy a good popcorn flick. Really, so long as Doom is an insane, megalomaniacal motherfucker that speaking in third person, I'll be happy.

Shrek 2 I watched this movie almost an entire year after it came out, and somehow, I didn't hear about the surprise twist about 2/3rds of the way through. Since I managed to not hear about it, I'll resist telling you in case you haven't seen it. Shrek 2 is hilarious (it's much more reverent than even the first one and manages to be funnier), and the twist is incredible. The sequel is more frenetically paced than the original, which I prefer because of that reason; the slower of the first Shrek pacing allowed the characters to breathe more, and thus has more meaning. But Shrek 2 assumes you already know what you need to know from the first and runs absolutely hog wild with it. And yes, Puss In Boots is the funniest new character all damn year.

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue I bought the first Swimsuit issue for the first time ever in my life. In case you didn't know, it's the most-bought single issue of a magazine in America. But I'd always avoided it because I never wanted to leaf through a magazine that was nothing but pictures of half-naked women without any articles. It's the whole male feminist thing. I can appreciate dem purdy pikchurs of nekkid broads, but without stimulating articles, what's the point? Might as well just look at porn. But I decided to give it a whirl and was slightly surprised by classy it was. The women are sexy without constantly making that supposedly "gritting teeth" look magazines always seem to have women in.

Those space-age beds You know those beds that contour to your body shape, or the ones with the "sleep numbers"? I want one of each. Now.

The Japanese Boob in a Can Remember the stress ball boobie from last week? Well, I found a boob in a can. It's not as realistic as the stress ball, but it's still awesome. Why don't we have stuff like this in America?



THE BAD

Loretta Lynn Van Lear Rose I was so excited to be holding a CD that's so different than everything I listen to, yet has direct connections with what I love most (Jack white produced this album, and it's surprisingly lush, considering how minimalist White Stripes records are), that I wanted to give the album a full review, rathen than a footnote on a Polarity. Problem is the CD is just too country for me. Lynn's voice is beautiful in that been-around-the-world-seen-everything-but-has-nothing-to-prove way that a good southern aunt would have. Auntie Lynn tells me stories that make me smile, not because they're neccesarily happy stories, but because I love how she looks at me half-adoringly, half lost in memories. But before the hour's even over I realize I've only been half listening, the mosquitos are tearing me apart, the humidity is killing me, and dammit, I hate the country. I find myself only wanting Auntie Lynn to sing that duet, "Portland, Oregon" with Jack White. Over and over. God, that's a great song, Auntie Lynn, I hear myself saying. But once I've heard the whole record I feel like I've had my fill and can move on. For someone born in the country, grew up with it, this record ought to be a breath of fresh air, because it's different than other country albums. But it's not for me.

Parist Hilton's boyfriend Paris Hilton just got engaged to her boyfriend who is also a billionaire heir. And his name is also Paris. I'm not bullshitting. Paris Latsis And when they get married, her name will be the same as his. Does that not make you sick to your stomach and want to destroy the world?

A Current Affair Yay! A Current Affair is back! Holy fuck, how the hell did I ever live without it?

The Dukes of Hazzard remake It stars Sean William Scott and Jessica Fucking Simpson, for Chris' sakes, so it's obvious I'm not exactly the movie's target audience. But I wish the mainstream media would stop acting like anybody expects it to be anything but a steaming pile of shit.

In Touch Every week it's either Nick and Jessica or Brad and Angelina. It's printed on glossy stock like US magazine or People, yet can't even bother with a real cover-- it looks like a National Inquirer style tabloid. What amuses me is the title. Because anyone who reads this magazine is seriously out of touch with reality.
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with love from CRS @ 8:25 PM 

1 Comments:

Sleep number beds are total crap, the swedish sleep system ones though (temper-peudic) are the shiznit.

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