CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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REJECTED HEADLINES 3

Thursday, March 20, 2014

this entry brought to you by i come to shanghai, "pass the time"


PEOPLE MAGAZINE OUTS WILL SMITH AS A BLACK MAN

CATHOLIC CHURCH CONDEMNS REALITY FOR BEING ANTI CATHOLIC

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER GLOBAL WARMING A PLOT BY SUPER VILLAIN TO DEFEAT SILVER AGE AQUA MAN

DECLINE IN PARENTS SPANKING LEADS TO BOOM IN DOMINATRIX MARKET

* 3 YEAR OLD PRODIGY LANDS ON MOON

SUB-ZERO DISCOVERS CHRIST, PULLS OUT SPINES OF SINNERS

LOCAL MOM WISHES FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS WOULD PROMOTE COMMEMORATIVE MUGS AGAIN ** CHUN LI VOTED MOST INAPPROPRIATELY DRESSED INTERPOL AGENT/ INVENTOR OF BEER PONG DIES PENNILESS

HOROSCOPE: YOUR GRANDFATHER WILL REVEAL AN ETHNIC PREJUDICE YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED

GOD SICK OF HEARING ABOUT COMPUTERS

STUDY BY MILLER SHOWS 9 OUT OF 10 PEDOPHILES PREFER COORS

BATMAN CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF HOW MANY DAMN PEOPLE KNOW HE'S BRUCE WAYNE


*This one's concept was going to be based around the idea that child prodigies always do things you and I could do with practice, like memorize all 50 states or play the violin. I thought, I'd be impressed if they did something you and I could never do.

** I wrote this headline at least four years ago, but can no longer do anything with it because it showed up on the Pete Holmes Show!!
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with love from CRS @ 8:25 PM 

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