Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .


Monday, March 18, 2013

this entry brought to you by the dodos, "going under"

GOTHAM-- Commissioner Gordon made a public service announcement today after five citizens were found beaten badly in front of urine spots in public alleys this past St. Patrick's Day, in apparent violent retribution from the man some people have referred to as Gotham's "Dark Knight".

"The police force of Gotham remain vigilant that the masked vigilante who is referred to as the Batman will be brought to justice," said the Commissioner today, "but just as a warning to Gotham's citizens, public urination also inspires the Batman's ire, apparently."

Gordon detailed that several drunken citizens were beaten badly enough to require hospitalization after becoming intoxicated on St. Patrick's Day and urinating in public. In a moment of lucidity, one alleged public urinator reported hearing a gravelly voice saying out loud, "Jesus Christ, enough with this already, we're trying to have a civilized society here," before having both legs, four ribs, and collarbone pulverized.

"Though public urination is an arrestable offense in Gotham, we cannot condone the Batman's behavior. Still, citizens of Gotham, until the masked vigilante is apprehended, we would recommend urinating in one of Gotham's many convenient public restrooms, or at the very least buying a small fries at one of Gotham's many McDonald's so that you can use their restrooms, which are only available for paying customers."

"I've seen The Joker's thugs treated with this much reckless disregard for safety," concluded Commissioner Gordon. "Seriously, let's keep this pee thing civil, for your own health. Pee into an empty bottle at the very least."

with love from CRS @ 3:07 PM 


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