CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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IDIOT TEENAGER CLAIMS TO ACTUALLY LIKE VALENTINE'S DAY

Thursday, February 14, 2013

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "deep"


A local idiot teenager was heard today at her workplace proclaiming her love of Valentine's Day, despite none of her older coworkers sharing her enthusiasm.

"I just love it when my man gives me flowers and chocolate," said the oblivious moron, being completely naive to the fact that the insincere gesture will, in the slim chance the relationship moves into her twenties, quickly become neglected by her boyfriend.

The sweet-natured but completely ignorant to real life teen, having never been old enough to eat at semi-decent restaurant, swears that Valentine's Dinners are "so romantic". She has never had to wait for forty minutes to be seated, had to flag down a waiter to have any attention paid to her empty drink glass because the restaurant is busy, and be hurried once the meal is done because there are more customers waiting. "Don't you just love eating a delicious meal where someone just pampers you and you don't have to do anything?" she has asked an uninterested bystander.

Still only eighteen, with perky breasts, tight figure that she needs to put forth no effort to maintain yet and clothes that regularly show off said body, the dummy has not yet felt the pain of being alone on Valentine's day, nor on Friday nights in general. Remarks that Valentine's presents were empty gestures so that her boyfriend could get laid left her confused, as her sex life is so active and energetic the idea that she wouldn't have sex under any circumstances made no sense to her.

"You old people are just grumps!" she was heard saying teasingly to the receptionist at her job. "I don't see how anybody could hate Valentine's Day!"

UPDATE: After Susan was seen receiving an enormous bouquet of flowers from a delivery man, which has since been proudly displayed on her desk, the idiot was heard whispering to a friend on her cell phone, "A fucking bouquet of flowers? What the fuck did Susan do to receive a fucking bouquet of flowers? Who does that bitch think she is?"
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with love from CRS @ 6:30 AM 

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