CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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EIGHT LANDSCAPERS MURDERED IN TOTALLY JUSTIFIED KILLING SPREE

Thursday, October 11, 2012

this entry brought to you by queens of the stone age, "sick, sick, sick"


MODESTO-- After five goddamn days of being woken up by landscapers next door at 6:45 in the morning, Camilla Smalley swore that her "fucking neighbor has got to be making a moat or some goddamn thing", that there would be no way that they would be working on Saturday morning, and that she would finally be able to sleep in.

Neighbors say that, against all odds, these motherfuckers started up their fucking racket on Saturday morning, and Smalley, 34 and a mother of two, took a large kitchen knife and started hacking and slicing until the noise of weed whackers, lawn mowers, and leaf blowers had stopped, just as anyone else would.

Jean Evans, a neighbor, said that she was shocked that Smalley would do such a thing, and never showed any signs of being so capable of losing her mind. "At least not until Sunday," Evans said. "If it was Sunday, I probably would've grabbed my husband's gun and just started shooting, because personally, seven mornings of that fucking noise would have been my breaking point. But after only six mornings, that seems a little extreme."

Boyfriend of two years, Cayden Blodsoe, said that, were he at her house at the time, he would have definitely attempted to talk her out of it, but would have probably been unsuccessful because his "heart wouldn't have been into it. These fucking animals just show up at the most godawful time of the morning and just wake you the fuck up when you're finally trying to sleep in."

Continued Blodsoe, "Listen, I know landscapers are just people and they're just doing their job, but at that time in the morning it's impossible to see them as regular people, like you or I."

Lawyer for Miss Smalley, Devon Chung announced that Smalley would be pleading guilty, but that "There's no judge in this county who would possibly give her anything beyond parole for a couple of years. I mean, we've all been woken up by landscapers, but six fucking days in a row is goddamn inhuman."
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with love from CRS @ 2:54 PM 

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