Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

Zelda Zombies Are Far Too Horrible For My Nine Year Old

Friday, September 07, 2012

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "closer"

Do you know what Legend of Zelda is? It's a family-oriented game that is challenging and deep for adults, but cartoony and relatively simple for kids. My daughter is 9 years old, and she loves Zelda, and has beaten one already. There is a Zelda game called Ocarina of Time. It is 15 years old, so the graphics are, compared to modern games, significantly simpler looking. Well, there's this part in it where there are zombies, and if you get too close, they scream and bite your head, taking off, like, two energy points, which is nothing. Celest refuses to get past this part, complaining that they are so scary it is impossible to play it. Well, I don't play Rated M games around Celest, but every now and again she'll, say, get up in the middle of the night and walk by when I'm doing something horrible in a game, and I'll pause. Well, I have a Rated M game that is very realistic, and is a game where you exclusively kill zombies. And they react in realistic ways and they bleed realistically and their guts spill out, etc. Well, Celest walks by once without me knowing right as I'm, you know, bashing some zombie skull and it explodes and brains go everywhere, and Celest, without me knowing she saw this or me knowing she was up, says "Wow. Cool. That's neat. What are you playing?" So this cartoon game with cartoon zombies that make a cartoon scream from fifteen years ago she is so mortified she's owned this game for a year and hasn't beaten it, and has started and beaten another Zelda in that time, but realistic zombies that spew blood and guts and scream in realistic tones, that's "cool", and requires further investigation. Seriously, kid. I'm never going to buy you a game ever again.

with love from CRS @ 8:59 AM 


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