CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Why I Don't Like Playing "Evil" In Video Games

Saturday, March 20, 2010

this entry brought to you by pearl jam, "given to fly"

this entry is about video games, and if you have NO interest, go ahead and skip it. but you should know this is actually a humor entry, not just blah-blah-blah video games. so skip it knowing you're skipping lulz.


About two years ago I did an entry about how, when given a choice between playing an evil character and a good character, I almost never play the bad character. I'm just not comfortable killing people when I could negotiate. I'm just not comfortable taking the dark side. "It's just a game" people say to me, and of course I know it's just a video game and doing bad things in games doesn't make me a bad person. But in the same "it's just a game" token, I do not have fun in games when I play the bad guy. I have fun when I play the good guy. And video games are supposed to be fun, right?

So that brings me to Mass Effect. I've been borderline obsessed with Mass Effect, and I can say that Mass Effect 2 is definitely in my top five games ever-- and it hasn't even been out for two months yet. I played through Mass Effect 1 with my good character-- incidentally, I almost always play through a game with a female character if given a choice-- and when I got Mass Effect 2, the game allowed me to import my character with all the choices I'd made in the first game in effect, so it really was my Shepard that I'd gone through all this with. But as I've said, I've become obsessed with the series, and for the first time in a long time, I was compelled to play through a second time (this time with a male character) to play the bad guy. And bad Shepard doesn't just kill people when it's more convenient to do so, he's also a complete fucking dick.



A few examples:


With Good Shepard

Space Scientist: All of the colonists in our space colony have been brain-washed by a malevolent plant, and they've gone crazy!

Good Shepard: There's no way I will hurt innocent people who are being brain washed. There's got to be a way to help them.

Space Scientist: You're just in time. We just found the cure. Use this on them.

Good Shepard: I will do everything in my power to get this to work. May God have mercy on my soul if I'm forced to hurt somebody.


With Dick Shepard

Space Scientist: All of the colonists in our space colony have been brain-washed by a malevolent plant, and they've gone crazy!

Dick Shepard: What the fuck are you implying, cuntface? This better not have anything to do with my helping anybody.

Space Scientist: We just invented a cure. If you use this, it'll help them.

Dick Shepard: Didn't you just fucking hear me? I already told you I'm not doing anything to help anybody. Also, I called you a cuntface.

Space Scientist: If you take this cure, it could really help innocent people not die.

Dick Shepard: Why are you still talking?

Space Scientist: Just take it. What you do with it is your own business. At least I'll know I did my job to try and help people.

Dick Shepard: *farts*


Another Example:

With Good Shepard

Victim Spat Out by Alien Host: Thank God I'm free!

Good Shepard: Who are you?

Victim Spat Out by Alien Host: I was swallowed up by that horrible alien! I thought I would never be free of it! It used my DNA to make clones of me! But I had nothing to do with them!

Good Shepard: Well thank goodness you're alright, and that this nightmare is over. Come with me and we'll check to make sure everything's fine with you.


With Dick Shepard

Victim Spat Out by Alien Host: Thank God I'm free!

Dick Shepard: What the fuck?

Victim Spat Out by Alien Host: I was swallowed up by that horrible alien! I thought I would never be free of it! It used my DNA to make clones of me! But I had nothing to do with--

Dick Shepard: *shoots her dead* I'm sorry, were you not a clone? I just killed like 8 people that looked exactly like you, I couldn't tell if you were one or not. My bad. Cuntface.

Teammate: Commander, it sounded like she was actually explaining herself when you pulled the trigger. Killing her might not have been necessary.

Dick Shepard: Blah blah blah. Listen, we can stand here talking about who we should and shouldn't shoot in the head, and in the meantime we've got pie getting cold back in our space ship. Do you fuckers want pie or not?


With Good Shepard

Two Teammates Who Have Become Smitten With You: Shepard, we need to talk.

Good Shepard: Is there something wrong?

Two Teammates: Both of us feel like there's definitely something going on between us and you. And there's just no way that we can continue on this path without you choosing one of us. We don't need to be on a space mission saving the universe with one of us getting a broken heart. So before we go too deep, you need to pick.

Good Shepard: Oh my. I never meant for it to get this far. I never meant to get the two of you involved in something like this. But the truth is, I honestly do have feelings with [character the player feels like moving the relationship forward with; inevitably it'll be Liara].


With Dick Shepard

Two Teammates Who Have Become Smitten With You: Shepard, we need to talk.

Dick Shepard: Oh shit. Here we go.

Two Teammates: Both of us feel like there's definitely something going on between us and you. And there's just no way that we can continue on this path without you choosing one of us. We don't need to be on a space mission saving the universe with one of us getting a broken heart. So before we go too deep, you need to pick.

Dick Shepard: ...Or we can have you two cunts fight it out, and whoever wins gets to ride my slick hot pole.

Two Teammates: We need you to take this seriously.

Dick Shepard: I'm being completely serious. Get naked and fight it out. Now. I'm Commander Shepard and I do what I want. Also, I hope whoever wins is into shitting on their lover, because it's been a good long time since I've had a steamy one on my chest. I'm a horrible person.



So basically I am saying, if you get joy out of playing this way, yeah, you're a bad person.
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with love from CRS @ 11:32 AM 

1 Comments:

i think you lost your sack...remember you can always play farm-ville if don't like being the bad guy

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