CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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The Constant State of C- Anger

Thursday, March 04, 2010

this entry brought to you by stereolab, "miss modular"


I was listening to a show called WTF, a podcast by one of my all-time favorite comedians, Mark Maron. He had a segment where he was talking to his therapist friend about his anger issues. The doctor asked him when the last time his anger was at a 10 on a scale of 0 to 10. Maron admitted that it was probably two days prior. His friend suggested that the next time he felt like he was getting mad, he should take out a sheet of paper and write down how angry he was on that scale; that way, at the end of the day, he could look at how many times he was angry and see how ultimately silly and forgettable all those instances were.

If you were to ask me, I feel like I'm a pretty grumpy guy. To slide off on a tangent for a moment: I've never been drunk before, and whenever people find this out, they inevitably say with a smile, "Ah, we gotta get you drunk some time!" And this is something I don't understand. I get that we all enjoy things, and that people ordinarily like sharing things they enjoy with people. But the idea of being so eager to share vices blows my mind. I'm a big fan of masturbating, for example, but were I to learn of someone who had never masturbated before, the first thing out of my mouth probably wouldn't be "Oh my god, dude, I've got to come over and jack off with you sometime! It'll be great!"

Recently I realized that part of the reason why I'm reluctant to want to get drunk is that, as everyone says, alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and I'm a pretty angry guy. I feel like if I were to get drunk around people everyone would soon be muttering to one another, "Jesus Christ, Chris has not stopped bitching about Republicans for an hour. Somebody remember never to invite him out again."

With that said, when I was listening to this episode of WTF, I was comforted by the fact that I am almost never at 10. I think the last time I was at 10 was the ninth grade, and before that probably the sixth grade.

...But I am also pretty much always in a constant state of 7. With the exception of my wife and two daughters, my mom, and whatever music is on my Ipod, essentially every piece of stimulus in life that I am exposed to makes me angry in some fashion, and when there's nothing to make me angry, I'm probably still fuming about something that made me angry hours/days/years ago, or things that I am not exposed to but assume exist nevertheless. If rage was a class in school I'd be a straight C- student. Not getting any extra credit or anything, slacking off on homework, but acing every test with ease.
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with love from CRS @ 12:02 PM 

1 Comments:

You're not gonna Hulk out on us or anything, are you?

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