CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Awkward Dad Moments

Thursday, July 30, 2009

this entry brought to you by peter fox, "alles neu"


Sometimes there are things that, as a dad, make you feel horribly awkward. And when I say awkward, I mean they make you feel like a pervert. For example, shopping for little girls' clothes by yourself. It's one thing if you know exactly what you're looking for, like if you're at the store with your daughter and she says "I want that shirt" and you don't buy it right at that moment because there's a birthday coming up, and at a later date you return and head straight for it. No, when you're a dad and you are actively clothes shopping for your daughter, rifling through little girls' clothes, checking sizes, checking prices, deciding if she'd like it, picking it up and holding it out in front of you, you feel like a pervert. Why are you the only male in the girl's section? Why aren't other dads looking for clothes for their daughters? Apparently, you are a freak. When you remember your daughter complained her panties are getting too tight and you head for the panties section, pick up a pair, stare at them for a moment, decide they're too small, and pick up another pack, I dare you to not feel like the worst person in the world.

Then there's sleepovers.

My wife decided to have two of Celest's friends over. They're all only seven years old.

...And over the course of the day, I saw all three of them naked at separate times. And I don't mean opening a door without knocking at the wrong time, I mean just blatantly, naked little girl and you didn't do anything for that to happen. This is the worst feeling in the world.

First, one friend went to the bathroom with the door wide open. I thought this was bizarre. Celest hasn't stopped using the bathroom with the door closed though, and while I guess if I had to think about it, Celest would probably use the bathroom over at someone else's house with the door open, yet somehow this seemed bizarre to me. Shouldn't the girls have learned by now not to do that?

The next morning the girls wanted to run outside in the sprinklers, and I thought, what if their parents didn't want them to get those particular clothes wet? Celest is the tallest of the three by far, so I said, okay girls, why don't you put on these old clothes of Celest's and run out in the sprinklers? And over the course of this particular activity, both girls that weren't my own came out of Celest's bedroom in various states of undress, completely unashamed, freaking me the hell out. You want to shriek like a banshee "AIIIIEE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! GET BACK IN THE ROOM!"

Worse. A grandmother came over to pick up one of Celest's friends and this girl came out of Celest's room naked. This is the worst feeling in the world, when a guardian of one of your daughter's friends is there and they are in your house and, for no apparent reason, are naked. You feel like the worst person in the world, that accusing eyes will be shot at you and that you would, frankly, deserve it. After all, why in the hell is their kid naked at your house?

I didn't get that accusing stare, and in fact I later remembered that my own daughter had gotten dressed into an older sister's swimsuit to go swimming, and, at one point, very well might have been naked in front of someone else, so her friend's grandma obviously didn't blink an eye when her granddaughter trotted out sans clothes. But in the moment I felt horrified. In fact, just sitting here typing this makes me feel like an awful, awful pervert. But then, I'm a dad, and it's just a naked little kid, and it happens, no big deal. But then, having typed that sentence, I feel like a pervert.

I should state that my daughter is naked way, way too often for a seven year old, and this doesn't phase me in my own home. Obviously. So it's not like I don't understand lack of modesty, it's that I would expect my daughter to be a bit more bashful in front of other men, and, conversely, that other kids should have learned better by now. It's not that I am a stranger-- I'm Celest's dad, they know me. But still, it's creepy. And fucking awkward.
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with love from CRS @ 6:17 AM 

1 Comments:

why didn't you say something to them i know i would have and why isn't your wife there to address this issue?

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