CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

ARCHIVES!
Why Are Gay People Attracted to Who They're Attracted To?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

this entry brought to you by oceansize, "heaven alive"


Perhaps a disclaimer to start off with: the subject about to be brought up in today's entry is obviously way more complex and has more subtleties than what I'm reducing it to. I understand that. And I also want to state that while the subject befuddles me, I don't particularly have a problem with it. I think it's a fun subject to discuss, but I don't really give a shit who fucks what and why. Nevertheless, it's something that interests me, and I want to bring it up.

What makes men men is rather obvious. Testosterone is a big factor in manliness, and men are naturally hairier, gruffer, more assertive. They have callouses on their hands. They have dirt under their fingernails. I'm a fairly wimpy guy who would have no interest in kicking a girl out of his house after a one night stand and enjoys cuddling after sex a great deal, and I have callouses and dirt under my fingernails. Men are built with a for a more utilitarian purpose. Women also have very obvious and definitive qualities. They are soft. Supple. Curvy. Delicate. They tend to be less hairy, and because the whole "hairy" thing is seen as a masculine trait, they tend to groom themselves in a way that makes them even less hairy. They are demure, more sly and more coy. They're also moodier and less assertive, more apt to give in to flights of fancy. They also tend to worry about appearance much more. These are general aspects of both sexes, and while you know exceptions, come on, you know what I'm talking about.

Why is it, then, that homosexual men tend to go for the most femmy, most girlish dudes? And why do lesbians go after the most butch, gruff girls?

Now, obviously, you know exceptions. You know a pair of men's men without a lisp and limp wrist that share the same bed. There's a couple of lipstick lesbians down the block that are totally not just in it because it's trendy, they're legit lesbians. But you know what I'm talking about. Stereotypes wouldn't be stereotypes if they weren't, for the most part, true. And what's more is that more often than not, you'll see a gruff, manly gay dude with a femmy, girlish guy. A dyke who could pass for a man even if she walked into a men's bathroom is coupled with a delightfully pretty girl. And this fact in particular is even more weird.

If you're a dude, and the thing that you think about all day is other dudes, then wouldn't the dude part of the dude be what turns you on? If you wanted a person who was into skin care products to the point of delicate suppleness, wouldn't you just want to have, you know, a chick, who are naturally supple? If you wanted someone who looks good in make up and shakes their booty and, well, sucks dick, wouldn't you want one without stubble?

Of course, the "why would you want a dude that's basically a chick" argument is lessened a bit when you consider that there are many subsects of gay men, many who do not like the typical flamboyant gay. The Bear community, gay men who love barrel-chested (or fat) dudes with with mighty, man-like beards, are the first one to spring to mind. There's also the fact that many gay men do in fact daydream about having sex with the mechanic.

What's really confusing to me is the butch lesbian thing. If you wanted a girl who could just pass for a guy, why not just want a guy? But what I really don't understand is how far some lesbians go to duplicate hetero sex. Now, obviously I know there are lots of unique sex acts lesbians can and like doing with one another, and I'm in no way diminishing that-- in fact, I'm a guy. I think that stuff is fairly awesome. What I don't understand is the catalog of sex toys that some lesbians tend to have. I know one particular lesbian who proudly stated that her lover didn't need sex from a guy-- as if I doubted that-- because she had a dildo that was battery operated, so it stated at a constant 98.6 degrees, could throb, and even ejaculated a warm lotion. Or "spew a load" as she called it.

If your girlfriend could walk into a men's bathroom without getting a second glance and has gone so far as to spend great amounts of money for equipment that acts exactly like a dude's equipment... why not just go for a dude? Some lesbians are very proud of the fact that they don't need men, and while I understand that statement for social reasons, to me the argument from a sexual point of view is no, you don't need men, but you also shouldn't need to skip getting "spewed" into because you forgot to buy batteries last time you were out at the store, or because the pump inside got a leak and you need to replace it.

Now look. I understand human sexuality a lot more than this might make me sound. I understand that if a dude were to grow his hair out long and paint his nails, I wouldn't be more attracted to him necessarily just because he ostensibly looks like a chick should look, and that there are people that are in fact attracted to that. And I understand if a girl looks like a guy and chops wood daily doesn't mean she touches the same way a man does, and that there are things going on in her head, and feelings, that are different than a man would be just because she's got more testosterone than her lover. I also understand your capacity to be sexually attracted to someone doesn't necessarily have to do with gender roles, and the way people are supposed to behave. I understand this. And I also understand that part of what makes prejudice so dangerous is people's inability to think outside of how they are already set to think. If I think this way, then I can't see how anybody else would think any differently.

With that said, it makes logical sense that if a chick is dating a chick that looks like a dude, and got a package in the mail that made her sex perform closer to a guy's, that she might just skip the middle man and, you know, just get with a man. Not that I have a problem with it. I just wonder how that is.
-----



with love from CRS @ 12:15 PM 

0 Comments:

Post a Comment