CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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NO WINNER ANNOUNCED FOR FUNNIEST ABORTION JOKE CONTEST

Sunday, June 29, 2008

this entry brought to you by queens of the stone age, "sick, sick, sick"


WASHINGTON D.C-- For the past six months, Pro-Lifers for America's Choice (or PLAC) have been extending the deadline for their contest to name the funniest abortion joke in America. "With women's rights coming under so much fire lately," said PLAC chairman Alice Gusman, "we decided we needed to reach out to Americans and show that abortions are something necessary. Our thinking was, people who are on the fence with this issue just haven't seen the right side of it, and we thought a way to remove the stigma of abortion would be to bring hilarity to it. Hence the contest."

Originally supposed to reveal the winner of the contest this past January, PLAC has delayed the deadline for their contest three separate times, from lack of worthy entries. "We're finally going to just cancel the whole project and move on to something else, because this has been a disaster. The jokes range from 'not funny' to 'unforgivably horrific'," Gusman said. "Really, who knew abortion was such an unfunny subject?"

PLAC also officially stated that neither the thirteen car bombs that have exploded outside their office over the past eight months, nor the envelopes with no return address covered in a fine powder that smell suspiciously of Anthrax repeatedly mailed to them [Although odorless, Gusman has said that "Once you've been mailed it five or six times, you begin to pick up a definite smell."--Ed.] have had any effect on their decision to end the contest with no named winner. "A couple of our employees have died from anti-abortion terrorism, sure, but really, what killed this contest was the disturbingly low amounts of comedy it birthed. We actually had to burn the computer that held all the contestant's jokes, for fear that they might get out somehow. Thousands of jokes, all too horrible to let live. Really, this whole contest has been a lot like the Holocaust. For comedy."
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with love from CRS @ 9:20 AM 

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