CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Warning: This Entry Contains Frank, Graphic Descriptions of Anal Sex. Parental Discretion is Advised

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "wish"


Anal sex completely boggles my mind. I don't understand the attraction to it, and I don't understand why some guys go out of their minds about it, are completely obsessed with it. I think it's weird, and it's gross. With that said, I don't want to act like I've got some sort of mental block in my head that forces me to be disgusted with it. I'm not morally opposed to it. I don't have a psychological repulsion to it. I'm not trying to ban it. In fact, I've had anal sex before. To tell the truth, I couldn't really tell the difference between it and vaginal sex. My very first time I had sex was in a girl's ass, because the girl I was with wanted to get around that whole "pregnancy" thing, and thought this was a more fool proof plan, and I couldn't really argue with that, despite that I really, really didn't want to. My very first two times of penetration were anal, and then I've never tried it again. So to me, from my experience it's not like it was all that different. I think if I was a vaginal expert at the time, I could tell you what the difference was, but after the first two times with anal sex I said this isn't worth the effort, let's just try vaginal. One felt wet and the other felt dry. They were both warm. They were both tight. Except one ended with poo on my penis.

When I saw the poo I was initially repulsed, then I thought, what in the world was I expecting? Poo comes from the butt. Putting your penis in the butt is going to make your penis have poo on it. And I'm sorry, I have an aversion to poo being anywhere on my person, my penis being the least of those places besides my mouth. And once you've had someone else's poo on your person, you don't look at them the same way afterwards. I'm just not cool with that.

When I tell this to people, they inevitably say, Oh Chris, grow up. It's just a little poo-- It's just a little poo! Like that's somehow more acceptable. A little poo on your dick is fine, so long as it's not a lot of poo. I guess I see that mentality, but how about no poo? And they say, Chris, poo is not a big deal, you would get poo on you when you changed your baby's diapers, it wasn't a big deal, was it? But the difference is that I never changed my baby's diapers with my face scrunched up, saying "Ohhh yeah, yeah, yeah you like that, don't you? Yeaaaah. Yeah. Oooh." I was a little more matter of fact about it. I was a little more trying to get it over with as soon as I possibly could. I wasn't trying to savor my diaper changing time.

But then there is the ultimate non-sensical reaction: "Well, that's why she should use an enema." Exactly how much preparation am I supposed to be putting into my sex life? What the hell happened to spur of the moment? Nothing says "romantic" like a gut bursting explosion of shit evacuation.

But beyond the poo thing-- and really, I don't think I'm ever going to get over the poo thing, call me a prude-- another thing that bothers me about anal sex is that I cannot see how it's not a dominance thing. I absolutely positively cannot fathom anal sex without it being about dominance. I really do feel that it's degrading to women. Maybe it's not the most degrading thing in the world, but it's certainly more degrading than, say, normal vaginal sex. The guy has to be in control of absolutely everything, or else it's not fun for the girl-- well, I don't really see how it's fun for the girl at all, but some girls claim they do enjoy it, so let me reword that; if the guy isn't in control of everything, it's utterly painful for the girl. So I think it's a thing in the male ego where he has to be dominant, he has to be in control. Now, I wouldn't describe myself as Mr. Submissive or anything, but I just detest that idea of forcing a girl to be completely subjucative of me, for her very pleasure to be completely my doing. And I definitely think it's about subjugation, though I don't think that most men are conscious of it-- well, the men who aren't assholes, anyway. I think most nice guys who love anal sex aren't thinking it's subjugation, I think it's something that they're not aware of, but I completely think that's utterly what it's about.

But it's the exact same thing with S&M. I don't get it. I know it's so popular nowadays, but I feel like it's passe'. And I'm not just talking about smacking some ass, I don't think of that as S&M at all. You should smack some ass. It's not just neccesary, I don't even see how you could consider something a sexual experience without ass smacking. But the whips, typing each other up, handcuffing-- yawn. Whatevs. I don't like the idea of dominance and subjucation-- of sadism and masochism. Which isn't to say that I just lay there like a cold fish, expecting her to do everything. Control during sex should constantly go back and forth, a give and take, which is what an actual relationship is supposed to be. But anal sex and sadism, to me they're not interesting ideas-- they're about putting someone else in a situation where only you're getting pleasure and they are completely subservient and, frankly, especially in the anal sex department, degraded. I just don't enjoy that, and I think it's kind of creepy that so many guys very much are into that.
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on this day last year IDIOCRACY! CHUCK KLOSTERMAN! SLEEPERS! ADRIENNE SHELLY! on last year's POLARITY!
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with love from CRS @ 8:12 AM 

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